The second of the fours
loves described by Lewis is Friendship. Philia is the Greek word for the love between
friends. Friendship is described as a strong bond existing between people who
share common interests or activities. As he did with the first form of love, Lewis
immediately differentiates Friendship Love from the other Loves. He begins by
describing Friendship as, "the least biological, organic, instinctive,
gregarious and necessary of our Loves," because humans do not need friendship
in order to reproduce and ensure the continuance of the human race. Therefore,
Lewis believes this shows that Friendship is extremely insightful because
friendship is freely chosen by those who have friendships. Lewis says there is
a lack of understand of what a true Friendship is and he expresses disgust for
the way that contemporary society ignores Friendship. He cites several friendships
in ancient texts, such as David and Jonathan from the Bible and says that we
now cannot appreciate true Friendship because few of us have experienced it and
therefore have no capacity to appreciate it. This Friendship comes from
companionship when two or more individuals find some common interest, thus Friendship
is born. Friends can be pictured, according to Lewis, as side by side, with
their eyes looking ahead. They see a similar truth, which gives the Friendship
something to be built around and built on. Lewis also notes that Friendship
love and Eros can co-exist together, which is evident in those who fall in love
with and marry their Friend. I saw that happen with my brother and his wife.
Their Eros love for one another was where they began, but lead to Friendship
between them and when they got married they were able to say I am marrying my
best friend, something I hope to be able to say someday.
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